SIXTY ONE YEARS OF INTROSPECTION

As you know I have been in the media a great deal lately. Most recently I gave an interview to WJHG NBC in Panama City, Florida. The story generated a great deal of controversy and comments, in fact it hit the most commented on and most viewed story. I received many hate comments and positive comments from supporters around the US. Unfortuantely, even the positive comments focused on one issue, my gender as a trans woman.

I have been quoted scripture damning me, and comments praising trans persons. Every comment had its own perspective and in its own value, in its own way.

I would like to make a personal statement to everyone who has commented. First of all I am who I am. I will not make apologies for being a transgender woman. I have been a female for almost 45 years. In fact, my 45th birthday as a female will arrive June 28, 2012. To this I will never apologize. I will not be made to feel ashamed by either community. I was not born in the wrong body and had to make no adjustments. I was born female and have lived almost my entire life as such. I do not have a birth defect such as a cleft palette. I am exactly as God/Divine Creator intended. I am the perfect embodiment of both the male and female energies. Yes, I am more female than male and always have been and always will be but I do not deny the male energy within. In fact, I embrace it.

Several years ago during a very difficult time of arrests and persecutions a dear friend came to me and asked me if I had ever reintegrated my male energy, Eddie. I had to admit the truth, I had not. I had been so busy denying that part of me ever existed I wouldn’t have dared to even give it thought. She graciously offered me advice that I have never forgotten: ‘”Go back and embrace Eddie and thank him for giving up his life so that Erica could live and blossom.” In a meditation at her home later that day, I did exactly that. It was painful and incredibly satisfying as I sat and saw Eddie for the first time in 43 years who had sat patiently waiting to be reconciled to the whole of me. In my visualization I walked up to my male counterpart and welcomed him back in with a deep apology and an even deeper understanding that Eddie was just as much an important element as Erica in this life. I shed many a tear that night as Eddie and Erica embraced in an imortal longing of connectedness that can no more be separated than the Sun and Moon. Eddie and I both embraced each other and sobbed with the deepest love and respect for each other. We are both the same and finally after so many years one integrated spirit as we were created from the beginning of time EXISTS. We found completeness together.

From that day forward I refuse to feel ashamed. God/Divine Source/Creator was fully present with us at this moment and it has been life altering in the most positive and constructive way. I no longer deny my male side and embrace that as my warrior side while Erica is the feminine side nurturing both sides. We are a fully integrated human life which goes way beyond into the spiritual being that we both encompass. Together we have both worked hard to accomplish our goals and today we are blossoming into a human we can both be proud of because we both realize that it isn’t what we own, what we do, our how financially successful we become. It is because we have both maintained the innocence of a child awaiting the unfolding of life with the anticipation of a trip to Disneyland. We are still tender, loving, generous, kind and strong.

We will not apologize for our differences of what some consider the norm and we will never state that we have a birth defect because we know that we have come to give the world a gift of learning and this we will do gently without regret. Eddie and Erica are one and always will be. We have come to learn from this life and in this learning we are prospering everyday. We were not born with a birth defect or abnormality. We are perfect as we are and we are one. We have certainly grown strong through the years of experiencing discrimination and hate, yet we still love. We are compassionate and gentle and we both look forward to the day when hate of differences no longer exist.

How much better can it get than to be your own twin and to love in spite of hate? How much better can it get than to move beyond fear and embrace the differences of others? How much better can it get than to know when it comes time at night to lay your head on a pillow to sleep to know that, that day you have shown kindness to everyone whose crossed your path regardless of their attitude towards you,is the part of life that truly excites us and propels us forward without hesitation. We will leave the war to others and strive to bring peace and true equality to all human life. This is not a fight it is a gift given through love at every embrace of the rising sun until the sun sets peacefully at night knowing that hunger no longer exists, homelessness is a thing of the past, that bullying and name calling has ceased, and that love prevails and embraces all life on our beautiful planet that we have been gifted with.

Eddie and Erica, Erica and Eddie forging our way through new territory with the gleaming eyes of youth regardless of our age discovering everything life has given us the opportunity to learn and to enjoy. How lucky are we?……………………………………………………………………Together we will work towards true equality and the perfection of the human race. Once again I ask you to join with me and shout out your truth from the rooftops. We can create the change we seek by becoming that change ourselves first.

Together we become the pefect balance……………………..

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