Sometimes I get Tried of Explaining……………….

I just had a conversation with my best friend who patiently heard my complaining. Right now I am in a situation which has required my explaining my past and history as a trans woman. Frankly, I am tired of always having to explain  my medical and legal history. Terry quickly reminded me that it’s my job in this life to educate other people on the trans birth condition.

What saddens me is that I am constantly judged because of a birth condition and that I am suing because of it. The person I have had to explain was warned to beware of me because I might sue her. This is a lady who is dear to my heart and the false accusation is insane.

If I am starting a new personal intimate relationship I have to explain, new friendships and even new business relationships require intimate knowledge of my life before they learn second-hand information. Second hand information is usually given by others with their own agenda. Usually, it’s not a caring and loving agenda rather it’s motivated by a preconceived prejudice against trans persons. It will start out with: Did you know Erica used to be a man? Things like this designed to prejudice their own thought process.

After a painful explanation which drains me emotionally and causes to surface pain I have yet to heal from they may or may not be accepting. I imagine there are those who would prefer us to walk around with an emblem so that everyone knows our origins, much like the Jews were made to wear during Nazi occupied Germany. It’s very tiring, especially since I have written a book about my own beginnings.

Two days from now I will walk into a courtroom in Panama City and yes this one I am advertising for the ending of a nightmare which began in September of 2007. During that nightmare the indictment was written under not only the name you know but also included my male birth name. It didn’t stop there, Detective Aaron Wilson ordered the booking officer at one of the arrests I went through to take me in the bathroom and make me drop my jeans to verify my sexuality. Later that same night at the County Jail I was forced to undergo this same verification. Detective Rosier of the Panama City Police went just too far when after all the verification that I was in fact a female listed my sex as male on another warrant.

For over 2 years I lived under a death threat from a witness in this case who publicly stated that if I were not found guilty he’d be waiting for me and take justice into his own hands. Witnesses during trial lied which we have evidence of as I stood by and watched my life destroyed by gossip and lies.

Imagine for just one moment that in one day your entire life and everything you’d worked so hard for was suddenly gone. Fortunately, my sail boat was paid for and that’s where I lived during this ordeal. Ordeal is an understatement. I believe nightmare is a better word. I survived on food stamps until I could finally get someone to trust me enough to get a job.

At this moment a press release is being drafted by Jennifer Etherton and notification of a press conference is going out while I prepare a statement to the press and a statement to the court. I have no desire to return to Panama City but for this important day of my life I will be present to finally see justice.

Hold me in your thoughts this Wednesday at 3:30 pm as we enter the court and after the hearing ends as we make our statement to the press regarding the entire case and my pending lawsuit against the State Attorney, Panama City, and Parker, Florida.

Kevin Alvarez is contacting the Sherrif”s Department requesting enhanced security on their part due to the existing death threats. Let us hope that I do not become another murder victim at the hands of a transphobic lunatic. But should I then let it be known that I have always lived my life for this moment and in death my prayer would be that others carry our message forward with a vengeance until all equal rights for our people are finally granted. I have walked down the street with trans friends and because they didn’t quite pass in their beginning stages of transition I witnessed cruelty on the parts of many passers-by who had to make ugly comments. No wonder so many are suffering from low self-esteem. No one has the right to degrade another human. All life has value and contributions to make to society. A dear friend Senior Minister Donald Guest from Glide Memorial once told me that there is no such thing as a dysfunctional person. He said show me just one functional person or family. There is no such thing and there is no such thing as normal. For God’s sake we’re all normal in our uniqueness.

I am shouting out from the rooftops tonight that all humans deserve equality and as long as I have breath in my body I will continue to shout in everything I do.

I will not be silenced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



One response to “Sometimes I get Tried of Explaining……………….

  1. Not trying to be rude or anything, just trying to clear this up so it doesn’t read incorrectly. “. It didn’t stop there, Detective Aaron Wilson ordered the booking officer at one of the arrests I went through to take me in the bathroom and make me drop my jeans to verify my sexuality.” He didn’t verify your sexuality, he verified your sex. Sexuality is who you love, if you are attracted to males, females, both, etc. Your Sex is what is determined by the appearance of what is between your legs. Thank you for sharing your story, I just want to make sure it comes across accurately.

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